Unintended Audiences
by zosimos
Summary: It wasn't breaking and entering if she had a key.


Mari still had a copy of the key to Gotou's apartment. He'd never asked for it back, and she was surprised that he had even given her a copy when she decided to move into his closet to cool her heels for a while. Of course, she'd been hoping for _other_ arrangements, but Gotou showed absolutely no interest in her; he just texted his girlfriend all the time and watched television and aside from the occasional scolding and bringing her dinner, he ignored her presence entirely.

Of course, now she knew that that girlfriend didn't exist. She shuddered a little bit at the thought, and let herself in the door.

The lights were off, but the fading daylight provided plenty of illumination. Mari heeled off her shoes and padded across the room in her stockings. There was more clutter now - several bags piled in the corner, a box with a new Red Axe figurine hanging out of it sitting beside the television. The apartment felt more lived in than when she was here, it was disgusting. She kicked the side of the table, knocking it slightly askew, and stormed over to the closet, where she'd left a few bags of stuff behind.

As she opened the door, she heard voices outside and froze. That sounded like _Masayoshi_ laughing, _shit_. She darted back toward the front door, hoping she could make her escape before they trapped her, but as she got to her shoes, she heard the jangle of a key and instead she grabbed her shoes from the floor, looked around desperately and ran back into the main room, jumping into the closet and yanking the door closed just as the front door opened.

The futon she'd used when she slept here was folded up against the corner with the pillow, and sitting beside it were two plastic bags full of the random crap she'd left behind, hair ties and shampoo and cell phone charger, a pair of shoes she'd forgotten about and more. Mari swiped her cell phone open, and tried to figure out how to get out of this.

Wait, why the hell was she hiding? What was Gotou gonna do, throw her out? Whatever, she didn't care that much. Mari put her hand on the door to wrench it open, and hesitated at the noise she heard Masayoshi make.

They were laughing, though - and she hadn't paid that much attention to them talking, more concerned with concealing herself. "Gotou-san," Masayoshi said, and laughed again, then drew his breath in quickly.

Curious, Mari risked cracking the closet door just slightly.

Masayoshi hadn't yet taken off his messenger bag, one hand was clutching the strap - the other was on the back of Gotou's head. His back was to her, but it was very clear from the tilt of their bodies that he was kissing Masayoshi senseless. Mari covered her mouth and ducked back into the closet.

Well, of course she knew about them, she was present for Masayoshi's grand revelation and she really saw way more of him than she'd ever wanted to (ugh) - pretty much everyone knew about them really, but they kept the PDA on the down-low. Knowing about it, and seeing it first-hand were two entirely different things though. Mari looked down at the cell phone in her hand and grinned wickedly, flipped it over to the camera and peeked back out the crack.

"-told you we should stay in tonight," Gotou was saying, his voice low and gravelly in a way that Mari hadn't heard before. He had his hands on Masayoshi's hips and his head tilted, they'd shifted just enough, and Masayoshi was flushed a deep red. He still had one hand on the strap of his bag, but the other had dropped to Gotou's shoulder.

Oh come _on._ They had to do something blackmail worthy eventually, right? Mari sighed and adjusted her position just slightly, and missed what Masayoshi said. Gotou reacted though, and he snorted and pinched Masayoshi's side. "Owowow," Masayoshi yelped, and smacked at Gotou with both hands, stepping away and turning his back to Gotou, shrugging off his bag and dropping it beside table. "You're so mean. What about dinner, then?"

If she thought Masayoshi had yelped before, there wasn't quite a word for the noise he made when Gotou picked him up from behind. "GOTOU-SAN!" Masayoshi squalled, as Gotou heaved him onto the bed, where he bounced once and rolled on his back. He huffed in annoyance and raised himself on his elbows and glared, Mari snorted in amusement and then covered her mouth quickly but neither of them seemed to hear her. She checked to make sure her phone was recording, and looked up sharply when something dark passed by the crack of the closet door - it was Gotou's shirt, thrown off and over his shoulder.

Masayoshi stopped Gotou with his foot on Gotou's chest. "What makes you think you get to have YOUR way?" Masayoshi rumbled. Gotou laughed, one hand on Masayoshi's ankle.

"I know I'll get my way," Gotou said with a smirk, and Masayoshi kicked him hard enough that he flailed over backwards and landed with a crash on his ass. Mari had to cover her mouth with her hand to keep from laughing at the startled expression on his face, and Masayoshi hauled himself up into a sitting position on the bed.

"Wrong answer," Masayoshi said, and Gotou rubbed his chest and frowned.

"That _hurt_," he said.

"You got to do it last time," Masayoshi said indignantly. "I'm a guy too, I want to stick it in sometimes!"

"Oh god, please don't say it like that," Gotou said. He crossed his legs and rested his hands on his knees. They glared at each other for a moment, and then Gotou rolled his eyes and Masayoshi snickered. "Janken?" Gotou suggested.

Mari rolled her eyes and sat back in the closet. These idiots were never going to get to anything good, she and Moe never fought about stuff like this. She heard Masayoshi yelp, start to say "But that's not f-" and get cut off. Her phone beeped at her, and she frowned, it had run out of space for a recording. When she peeked back out the crack in the door, she almost ducked back immediately, Gotou was kneeling on the bed over Masayoshi, but he was looking around the room. "You really didn't hear that?" he asked Masayoshi. Masaoyshi ignored him and tugged at the waistband of his pants, and Mari realized very suddenly that this was actually going to happen and she was going to have to hear the entire thing.

Well, this was fun and all but there were limits and she did not want to hear what these morons sounded like mid-coitus. She grabbed her bags, pulled the key out of her pocket and took a deep breath.

She slammed open the closet door and yelled, "You two are SO GROSS!"

Masayoshi legitimately screamed, which was hilarious in its own right - Gotou straightened so quickly he almost fell off the bed, he twisted and stared, stunned, at Mari, who proceeded to throw the copy of his key at his head. Then she hopped out of the closet, walked out of the room and pulled her shoes on at the door, before she leaned back and yelled again, in case they didn't get the point the first time. "DISGUSTING!"

The last thing she heard as she closed the door behind her was Gotou yelling, "is there an imprint of a KEY in my FOREHEAD?" She smirked, tapped her foot on the ground to make sure her shoe was on properly, and trotted off.


End file.
